September 24, 2025 #itsagift

Just before dawn, Coco licked my arm like a furry alarm clock. I thought, Finally! A full night's sleep! Nope. I cracked my eyes open, and there was Joe in the corner… on his knees - praying.

Before I could even process, Catalina popped in, hoodie up, chewing gum and smirking, 
One word: Wifey.

From the rafters, Sally floated down like a bathrobe model, her voice carrying, Ex-wife, darling. Ex. Wife.

I sat up, Oh no. What's going on?

Sally didn't miss a beat. She called over to Joe - Hey! You praying she's coming or staying? Or is this another hangover kneel down?

Joe looked up, face red but smiling. No, no… I want her to stay. Real love. I get it now.

Cat rolled her eyes while leaning against the wall, unimpressed: Wholesome. Very Hallmark.

Joe sat up, dusted off his jeans, and told us his ex-wife has been sick. His daughter’s been there for her, and he's so proud. His voice broke a little – She doesn't deserve this and my daughter doesn't deserve more pain either.

Then the panic hit. Wait… what if she shows up here? How do I look? Will she recognize me? Do I look… eternal?

Sally chuckled. You look like a man who still owes me rent.

Cat snorted. Bro, you're giving divorced dad energy, not eternal.

We laughed - and with the mood a bit lighter, Cat looked at her fingernails: I need mine done. Like… Yesterday. Can I even do that here?

I raised an eyebrow. Can you?

Sally floated lower, wagging her finger dramatically. Darling, you can do anything in God’s Energy. But also…you can do anything in the living if you put your mind to it. Spirit or Earth, same rules apply.

Which of course, made everyone look straight at my nails. I shoved my hands under the covers. Don't look at me! One broke yesterday. Not the point.

Joe turned back around and dropped down on his knees again, like he hadn't heard a word we said. Hands folded, head bowed, muttering away in the corner.

Never wanting to miss a chance, Sally called out: While you're at it, throw in a prayer that this boa never sheds. Feathers are impossible to vacuum in the afterlife.

Cat pointed and mouthed to us, Wifey, again. Then giggled.

I looked at Sally: Hey. While you’re here, well, I’ve been meaning to ask - am I even in the right job still? Should I… I don't know… just get a “normal” job? Marketing or grocery store?

Sally wildly gasped! Darling! You’d cause a blackout the moment you scanned a can of peas! You’d last TWO DAYS before HR wrote you up for “excessive ghost activity”. Every lost soul within a mile will RSVP to haunt your kitchen…

Okay! I laughed. I get it, I get it.

Sally continued, It's a gift to go with your Gift. Never forget that.

Cat, now crunching on an invisible chocolate chip cookie, shrugged and added, Low-key, if you got a normal job, you'd still be weird.

We all turned back back to the corner of the room where we caught site of Joe, now gazing in the mirror. He leaned in, rubbed his chin, and muttered, If she comes… I'm growing my hair back. Full head, baby. Just wait.

Then he licked his fingers and used them to slick his ghostly eyebrows, puffed out his chest, and tried a little smolder, Yeah… yeah, she'll remember this face.

Cat groaned, Joseph…you’re giving delulu.

Joe flexed once, then grinned at himself. Maybe I should get abs again, too. Does Heaven have a gym?

Sally laughed, Darling, if Heaven had a gym, I would’ve never signed up. She took a delicate puff of her long phantom cigarette and blew the smoke straight at Joe.

Cat rolled her eyes again, Besty, she is not pulling up to Heaven for your overgrown six pack. Be so for real.

Then she tugged her hoodie strings so tight only her eyes showed, gave me one last mischievous side-eye, and…blink. They were gone.

The room fell silent.
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I lay there in the dark, one broken nail still hidden under the covers, wondering if I had dreamt it all. I said a prayer for Joe's ex-wife. And Coco started her morning meow for food…