Before any and all readings, I pray, "Lord, may my words be Your Words".
After one very long, emotional reading with a cancer patient - I had a long 'argumental chat' with God on my way home. "WHY did I speak those words? HOW did that come up? You WERE there, right?? Am I helping, healing or hurting?" and the tears and worries continued.
I passed about 5 McDonald's on my long drive home and finally decided to just go in to order a drink (I haven't been to a McD's for myself in years and I can't remember the last time I actually have been inside one...but the drive-thru line was so long...).
I found only myself inside! LOL Then suddenly before I ordered, I heard my name being called. In had walked an older woman whom I had read for twice. I was shocked as I knew her husband recently passed and she had sold her home and moved!!
She explained that she came back into town for only 4 hours - enough time to sign one last paper and was headed back 'north'. She decided to run into the restaurant for coffee as she headed out of town and suddenly - there we were!
We chatted a bit and laughed at the scenario - and then she took my hands, looked me directly in my eyes before we parted and said, "I want you to know that you have changed my world. I would not have been as strong, courageous without you praying with me and giving me the Love, insight and the WORDS I needed to be where I am today. I thank you and love you for it all."
We hugged and said goodbye....for now.
And my tears immediately turned to those of happiness and peacefulness the rest of my ride home.
Yes, I looked up and thanked Him. For it was His voice in her words. It was Him....not us.
It's never about us.
Something to consider when a loved one has passed…
When someone dies, maybe we should say "grandma's BODY died" and not just "grandma died" to instill the truth in kids (and us adults). WE LIVE ON! We'll be together again someday, as promised.
Have you ever seen the movie Avatar? That’s how I view our bodies here on earth. We’re in these bodies for only a short time. We need to feed them, exercise them, and take good care of them so that we may learn, teach and do what we're supposed to do during the years we’re here upon Earth. This also includes spreading love and light. Let me clarify - spread God's Love & Light.
I was talking with my kids last night about 'being kind to people' and mentioned to them, "You know how people always say 'God is good, all the time! All the time, God is good'? Well, try to imagine Jesus walking around His house - slippers on, coffee in hand (bet it's some GOOD coffee too, uh? LOL) - and saying, "Carolyn is good, all the time! And all the time, Carolyn is good! ;) Strive for that."
Every day is a new beginning. Learn from what you did yesterday and concentrate on today. Concentrate on others and you will find happiness within yourself.
Let's be real - none of us are getting out of here (physically) alive. However, our spirit will live on… and on… and on!
And that's very cool.
22-23 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.
23-24 Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.
25-26 Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.
~Galatians 5 The Message.
Fruits. As in "Fruits of the Spirit": Love, Joy, Peace, Forbearance, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control.
Fruits. Also as in, "fruits of our labour"; "fruits of our Gifts".
God has given to each of us at least one Gift. At least.
Gifts such as teaching, carpentry, nursing (caring greatly for others), writing, speaking, gardening!
I truly believe that if you're unsure if someone's Gift is from God ~
see what kind of Fruit they produce. :)
When you have a reading - or a visit with someone - and you leave feeling empty or fearful...
When you find yourself needing to come back to a 'psychic' over and over again in a short period of time to guide your path...
If you are not able to let go, to feel weight being lifted - but instead, feel more confused and burdened....
...these are all signs that Gifts are not being used as they were intended.
It can also mean someone is trying desperately to acquire a Gift that wasn't meant for them.
And in many instances, it means we're not really listening and trusting in Him - which is the beautiful and discerning Spirit inside each of us.
Many of us like to put our hands in others' cookie jars. We really think we can do it all! (Type A here...how am I preachin'? ) haha! But alas, we need to be at peace with our own Gifts, use them to the best of our ability and allow others to use theirs as well. Everybody in their place and a place for everybody.
So many times, I've thought about just throwing in my 'Sensitive' towel and going to work at a "normal place". I mean, working in this 'field' is not a 40 hour per week job. I tried that once when I was working for a very popular psychic phone line. In order to make any income, I had to be signed on for at least 40 hours and I was only paid for the actual talk time - at 42 cents per minute (which, I heard was a good pay rate) - and that rate went up to about 60 cents/min the more I talked to clients. Many of my clients cried to me, screamed their fears at me, told me about their infidelities, their secret lives. Some begged me to tell them the truth and when i did of course, they hung up on me. Others just didn't like what they heard and would press a button to complain and give me a *1 out of 5* rating to get their money back. Many young women told me of their struggle with their boyfriends whom they hadn't heard from in months but wanted to desperately know the answer to, "Does he still love me?". So many were lost - and I felt so helpless. My husband would reassure me that they were brought to me for a reason. I just felt most were lonely and needed a counselor - but they chose me. So then I began to pray for every single client. I made it a habit to write their names down in a journal I kept solely for this purpose. Yes, I still have it - and yes, I still do it. :)
So one week I really stuck it out and read for as many hours as I could be available. Christmas was coming and I had a goal in mind! But by the end of that one week, even though I received a $900 paycheck (pre-tax), I was so physically sick - bed ridden - I almost missed Christmas! I had to sit back, pray and really rethink what I was doing and what I was precisely doing it for. *inhale*
I was in a downward spiral. I knew in my soul this particular avenue to utilize my Gifts, at least for me, wasn't perfect.
I also felt, and I admit I sometimes still struggle with this today, that I shouldn't have to charge for my Gift services. I mean, it's from God, right? Would He want me to charge money? Even though I wasn't receiving a lot of compensation, the company I worked for was charging my clients $7/minute to read with me! So - I researched this over and over again. I looked thru the Bible, I went online to those Mediums in whom I greatly respected, I even spoke with a couple of Pastors. Every time I'd look to God and ask Him, "WHAT should I be doing?", He'd send me a client who really needed Healing - and somehow would receive it. (and then i'd look up again and smile - asking for forgiveness! LOL)
And one night while laying in bed, I felt this peace come over me. "He gives us our Gifts to survive too." If we're good at something, it will be enough.
My husband is an excellent wood worker. He is paid for his time and for his incredible work. No one shames him for it or debates whether he should be compensated. It's all so interesting, this thought process. And in going further, if our Gifts eventually allow us to receive more than enough, we should help others receive Blessings as well. We shouldn't hide it or keep it and squander it ourselves.
See, it's all a perfect circle.
And then, I felt good enough to start this Service here of my own. *exhale*
I beseeched God (whoops - but, I did) to "Please be a part of this! May my words be Yours. Keep Your Hand in this!" And He has. I am so grateful. My clients are some of the most humble on this Earth. I cannot state that enough. When my fears and questions start to peek back in, He seems to lay it on the line over and over again with me - to the point that i now emphatically know this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Although, monetarily I still wonder if I should be doing more. :)
I don't have curtains on my windows - just the old, plastic, horizontal blinds that came with our home. But I have them. I don't have dressers in my bedroom. I have plastic storage bins that we moved here with 16 months ago that my mother gave to me. But I have clothes to place in them thanks in part to a wonderful friend who happened to clean out her closet THE day my patience ran out on me. I don't have the gorgeous white sofa I've wanted for 20 years - but I have a cheaper green one that holds my family together when we watch a movie! OH - and I have a TV, yes! LOL Do I wish I had all of those other things? Oh of COURSE! haha! But it doesn't define me anymore as it did when I was younger. I know that if what I do have, God forbid, was taken from me today ~ I still have my Faith and my family. No one can take either of those away from me for they are mine. My Faith and my family are what makes me tic. So ~ enough is plentiful. And one day if God allows me to be able to buy 'beyond the necessities' of groceries again, I will also recognize that it's the day to pay for someone's else's. I'm more excited about the possibility of giving back - no one can even try to understand!
We are all here to grow - to help each other - to keep each other on track - to Love - to converse - to understand - to explore - and to receive Love. We're gonna' screw up - let's face it. Bad things are gonna' happen - it's true. As long as we can move forward, fearless and fierce in Him and in trusting who we are meant to be...
As long as we're each using our own God-given Gifts - no matter what the circumstance...
This life has potential to be a very wonderful place.
And in my opinion, it will be so fragrant, delicious ~ FRUITFUL! :)